Dead-pardy
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: When Lara and Norman find the person they have been searching for, for seven years, they find themselves sucked into a whirlwind of trivia that only one of them will walk away from. Written for the Unstable Universes Podcast.


The beacon on Lara's holographic GPS display began to blink faster as the two explorers closed in on their destination. They passed the crumbled remains of a white stone arch blocked their passage, much of its engraving lost, but Lara was able to read "Sony Pi" on one of the larger chunks. After a moment of searching, she found a stable route to climb, followed closely behind by her partner. Finally they stopped in front of a large grey building, one of the few left standing in these parts. The outer walls were adorned with massive frames, though the images they contained had been sun bleached beyond recognition.

"You really think he's going to be in there?" Norman asked, his eyes darting around in search for anything ghostly.

"His tracker says he is, so he is," Lara responded matter-of-factly. She removed a crowbar from her backpack and slowly wrenched open the rusted steel lock holding the door shut.

The door swung open leading to pitch blackness. They both turned on flashlights, Lara attached hers to one of her pistols. They nodded to each other, and with that, they headed into the building.

They wandered through the darkness, guided only by their thin beams of light and Lara's holographic map. The beacon flashed at a feverish pace as they made their way deeper into the void.

Their flashlights danced across walls and down corridors, until finally they found themselves facing a door. It was metal with faded paint letters reading "STUDIO 10."

"He's just behind this door," Lara whispered. She holstered her guns to get a good two handed yank on the sturdy door. The first pull made very little progress, but with the second tug, the door swung open as if someone holding the other side of the door had just released their grip.

Norman and Lara swept the room in front of them with their flashlights, revealing an auditorium. Rows upon rows of seating facing a wide stage. A single podium on the left, three on the right.

Lara's flashlight lingered on the set of three podiums, noticing something different about the leftmost one. At the sound and the light, something jerked upwards from behind the podium. Norman fell backwards in shock, landing in one of the audience seats.

Lara, however, realized what the movement was immediately.

"Father!" she cried out, rushing toward the stage. "I knew you were alive!"

Norman stood and quickly followed behind her, not wanting to stray too far from her protection.

They rushed over to Lara's father, onto the stage and behind the podiums.

"Lara, honey, you need to get out of here. Just leave. I can't come with you, it's a trap," the older man rambled. He was unkempt to say the least. His pants torn and faded, his shirt had lost all but one button and the undershirt below was stained yellow from sweat. His hair and beard were long and matted nearly to the point of dreadlocks. Lara's eyes finally fell on his right hand, wrapped tightly around a thin pen-like apparatus with his thumb placed firmly on the button adorning the top.

"Let it go, Dad! We can get out of here!" Lara cried, she tried to wrench the device from her father's hand, but it wouldn't budge. He wasn't just holding tightly on to it, it was stuck to his hand.

In that moment, everything around them came to life. The utter blackness in the studio was quickly overtaken by a series of flashing lights beaming down onto the stage. A raucous applause exploded from behind them. Norman whirled around to see that the seating they had just been standing among was now filled to capacity with translucent people.

Norman's heart dropped.

A booming voice from above spoke even louder than the cheers, "This is Jeopardy! Today's contestants are a tomb raider from Wimbledon, England, Lara Croft!"

A spotlight shone down on Lara. She winced at the brightness, her eyes still not having yet adjusted from pitch black. She reached out to the podium to steady herself, but she found her hand resting on another of the devices her father was holding. It stuck fast, impossible to remove from her hand.

"Lara… No…" Her father began to weep in front of her.

"A paranormal expert that saved his home town from a witch, from Blithe Hollow, Massachusetts, Norman Babcock!"

The spotlight swept from Lara to Norman. He felt the eyes of hundreds of ghosts bearing down on him. His hand trembled as he reached out and took the apparatus from the podium in front of him.

The disembodied voice from above continued, "And our returning champion, an archaeologist that has been presumed dead for the last seven years, from Wimbledon, England, Richard Croft! And now, here is the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek!"

The crowd of ghosts in the seats suddenly went silent. Lara and Norman looked across the stage to the single podium to see another ghost fade into view.

"Hi folks!" he smiled and waved to the audience. "This is another special episode of our Survivor Series. Only the winner lives! Richard Croft has beaten every opponent we've thrown at him, so let's see how he fairs today!"

The joviality of Trebek's words twisted Norman's stomach in knots.

The show started off slowly. None of the three contestants were willing to answer questions, choosing instead to let the timer buzz. The ghost of Alex Trebek was clearly getting frustrated, but the audience would never be able to tell from his voice.

"It would appear our contestants have been stunned silent by the rules of the Survivor Series" he said jauntily. "But I will remind them that a three way tie means three losers, and therefore, three ghosts. I hope that rouses the quest for victory in all of you. Now, on to the next question."

The three unwilling contestants shared a worried glance, but the game pressed on. Now the contestants, compelled to answer questions, did so with some success, though Lara and Richard were much more successful given their expensive education and Norman is an eleven year old boy.

Finally, the board was cleared. Richard was in the lead, though Lara was close behind. In a feeble third place, threatening to enter the negatives, was Norman. Alex called for a commercial break, despite the fact that this was not being aired, and faded away from behind his podium.

"Norman," said Lara, her voice shaking slightly, "You need to win. I found my father, that was all I ever wanted, and we can be together now, catch up on old times, even if it is as ghosts. You need to live on."

Richard nodded in solemn agreement.

Before Norman could protest, Alex Trebek appeared behind his podium once again, and a roar came from the crowd.

The second round began, and both Richard and Lara intentionally answered incorrectly to lose their accumulated winnings. Norman answered as best as he could, which was still mediocre at best, but he quickly took the lead with his opponents' help.

The final jeopardy question was difficult, but Norman only bet one dollar, while Richard and Lara bet it all, each with a wrong answer.

"Congratulations, Norman! You are our new champion of the Survivor Series! Do you have anything to say to your opponents before they die gruesomely?" Trebek said.

Norman shed a tear and shook his head no.

Richard and Lara dropped through trap doors behind the podium. Norman didn't want to see it, so he looked out into the crowd. After just a moment, two new audience members faded into view. Ones he recognized. The Crofts sat in the front row, now translucent and blue.

"We'll see you next time on Jeopardy: Survivor Series. Good night, folks." Trebek concluded.

Just as he finished his sign off, all of the lights and music shut off. Trebek and the audience of ghosts were gone. Norman was alone in the silence and the dark.

He sat behind his podium, his hand still stuck fast to the buzzer.

Then he heard a noise, something familiar. The noise of the studio door opening. Above the podium, a beam of light shone.

Norman stood and looked out into the rows of seats, but he couldn't see the face behind the flashlight until a voice called out "Norman!"

It was his best friend, Neil, and his sister, Courtney. They ran toward him, jumping on to the stage and around the podiums.

"Wait… Don't!" Norman cried out, but it was too late.

The lights came on, the music played, the ghost crowd cheered, and over it all he heard a booming voice say "This is Jeopardy!"

THE END


End file.
